A TWITTER TROLL BULLIED MY 6-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER ONLINE, SO I FOUND HIM IN REAL LIFE.

A Twitter troll, a basketball star, a t-shirt shop, a writer from the Boston Globe, and a pissed off mom standing up for her daughter converged in Central Iowa. 

   

On a Sunday morning at a coffee shop in Ames, I was on my way to do what lots of people in modern America can only imagine doing: meeting with internet trolls to accept an apology. 

Months earlier, these trolls had posted cruel comments about my 6-year-old daughter, who appeared in a viral picture with Iowa State basketball star, Audi Crooks. 

What followed that day was typical of the internet — these anonymous trolls said despicable things, I asked them to stop, the trolls disrespected me, others joined me to tell them to stop, the trolls continued and then eventually moved on. 

Because the Tweet was related to Iowa State athletics and the trolls appeared to be Iowa fans, I assumed that they lived in my community and were not just bots. The State is small enough that I figured I must have a connection to them in some way. Like a lot of people who have been enraged by online bullies, the thought of finding their identities crossed my mind. 

I instead tried to forget about it and move on. 

Though these interactions do more damage than people let on, the rule of the day is “Don’t engage," "they’re just trolls," "these are burner accounts," "there’s no point," "this is what they do,” or "it’s just the internet.” 

But about two months after the bullying, these trolls popped back up online with what sounded like an unbelievable story: a writer from the Boston Globe had found one of their identities, flew to the University of Iowa to surprise them, called them “hilarious,” and posed for photos with them in an Iowa City bar. 

This brush with being unmasked didn't scare them straight but emboldened them further. 

Their trolling continued, and I decided to show my daughter what a community is capable of. We found one of their identities and I called him. 

He seemed so young on the phone, so frightened, and agreed to meet me in Ames and bring his Twitter troll friends. 

That Sunday, I expected to sit down with these young men and listen as they apologized to myself, my wife, and our daughter. I expected remorse. After all, they’d been caught and there was no way out.

Instead, I walked in to find one Twitter troll, his parents, and a high-paid criminal defense attorney from Des Moines. 

I learned that the day before, the attorney had threatened legal action against a friend who helped me arrange the meeting and this attorney seemed motivated to control this meeting to ensure my future silence.

I was furious. 

I thought that morning would be cathartic for my daughter, myself, and even these young men.

Instead, this meeting showed me something bigger about this country: when it comes to aggression, we are raising men; when it comes to accountability, we are raising little boys.  

ONE AMAZING PHOTO

The photo that started this all is one of my favorite pictures: it’s my 6-year-old daughter Kamdyn and Iowa State star, Audi Crooks. My daughter’s confident stance, looking up at Audi. Audi engaged in conversation and looking back at her. 

It was taken inside Hilton Coliseum on January 22nd, just before a game. Me, my wife, Priscilla, Kamdyn, our 3-year-old, and our infant twins arrived early to find good seats in the Junior Cyclone section. Kamdyn spotted Audi right away and wanted to show off her “Smile Like Audi” shirt. This is the same one Audi had signed for her at the Ames Farmer’s Market the summer before, where our connection with Audi first started. 

Kamdyn and Audi chatted for a minute and then hugged. Priscilla saw it all and text me, “Kamdyn is going to be famous someday, she’s just so cute!” 

We watched the game, went home, and found out later that the Des Moines Register sportswriter, Tommy Birch had shared the photo on Twitter with the caption, "Audi Crooks meets a fan." Other local sports commentators chimed in with approval. Keith Murphy of Channel 13 and the Murph & Andy show re-shared, saying, “Nice.” 

I re-downloaded Twitter to see the photo. 

By the time I saw it, it had already been viewed over 300,000 times. Today it sits at 1.1 million views. The comments all looked so positive. I showed Kamdyn the photo and she was overjoyed. She asked to see my phone, so I passed it to her. 

Then she asked me, “Why is there a picture of a cow on here?”

I hadn’t seen that comment, so I told her that it was probably an ad. 

Then she asked, “What’s a diet?”

I immediately took the phone back and started scrolling through the comments. 

DOZENS OF CRUEL COMMENTS

What transpired is all so depressingly common on the internet, but it was the first time I had ever found myself a part of something like this. 

One comment, then another, and another:

My heart sank when I saw that first comment from “Howard Stevens CPA.” The first thing they locked on to, of course, was Audi and Kamdyn’s weight. 

Then more…

As others came to Kamdyn’s defense, the trolls only got meaner, riffing off of each other:

I went to my room so Kamdyn couldn’t see or hear my tears, and my mind was racing thinking about how I could protect my child. I even responded, thinking that pointing out this was a little girl would make them stop:

I couldn’t get over the joy these guys seemed to feel in tearing down both Kamdyn and Audi.

If you haven’t been on the receiving end of this kind of online hate, it’s hard to describe. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

I felt myself checking the thread and just feeling more and more heartbroken. 

That night, I tried to go to bed but found that I just couldn’t keep my mind from racing. To see what my daughter was going through, what Audi was going through, I just felt so helpless.

TERMS OF USE?

One thing almost everyone brought up: why not report the trolls to Twitter? 

And when I looked at Twitter’s Terms of Use, there seemed to be a clear violation of their “Harassing someone or encouraging people to harass someone” clause. 

But when I reported these accounts and when my friends would report these accounts, Twitter would reply with emails telling us that these profiles hadn’t broken any safety policies and instead just directed us to block them, so we wouldn’t see what they were saying, though their message would still proliferate online. 

As I would find out a few months after this, though, some of these young men’s accounts HAD been suspended by Twitter at different times for “threatening violence” or “promoting or encouraging suicide or self-harm.” 

But a Twitter suspension, in their world, was more of a badge of honor as I saw in an interaction two of them had after they harassed Kamdyn: 

INTRO TO THE TWITTER TROLL GROUP

As the day the thread unspooled, I could tell that most of these trolls were friends online, if not friends in real life. They didn’t seem like bots or foreign accounts, they seemed like people who certainly lived in Iowa, if not my community. 

The main group consisted of “Howard Stevens,” “Tony Jacobson,” “Hawkeye Harry,” “Dale Edwards,” “Coardelle Doyle,” “Cody Schrader,” and “Hawkeye Enjoyer.” 

The names were obviously fake; the photos were lifted from the internet. Howard Stevens was not a divorced father and CPA with “134 connections on LinkedIn.” You assume it’s some jerk in college or 20-something loser, but you rarely get to find out. 

Here are some names that will be with me for a long time: 

What struck me, having looked through months of messages from these accounts and others, is how common their behavior is, and how it follows a particular pattern: 

1. Their main shared interest is a sports team (in this case, the University of Iowa).
2. They would then troll fans of rival teams (in this case, mostly Iowa State). 
3. But they would also follow national sports accounts and trolling trends.
4. They would branch out into petty bullying of others (even other Iowa fans). 
5. They would dabble in general misogyny and racism.
6. And their political comments, when they had them, were almost all far right wing.

This particular group, though, had a 7th pattern: peeing all over public restrooms. 

Seriously. 

They would post videos of peeing in college building restrooms, peeing in bar restrooms, into showers. 

For legal purposes, since they like to involve Attorney's, I cannot confirm this is them peeing or that this is even pee. However, it is the trolls posting about it and saying that it's pee.

There were so many: 

Even peeing into a Dyson hand dryer:

And this isn’t even all of them:

They’d regularly encourage or ask for videos of people peeing, which would make other accounts take notice of how strange that is: 

But for those who say, “all of Twitter is like this, these kids just don’t know,” they would regularly be reminded that what they were doing was far more than “just trolling.” 

Someone told Howard, “cyber bullying doesn’t result in people having to clean piss off a bathroom floor.” 

Howard tells them it’s easy to clean because “everyone has a swiffer.”

When I read this, it made me think that Howard had never cleaned a bathroom. 

Here they pee into a sink:

Here they pee into a vent:

But one of the videos really made me take notice:

Hickory Park is a restaurant in my city, not far from my house. 

These guys were closer to me than I thought. 

AND SO, I CALL A T-SHIRT SHOP.

The day after the photo, the post was still growing, and I went to work and felt crazy. 

By this point, the photo and comments had been viewed hundreds of thousands of times, 

In the tight-knit community of Iowa State fans, I knew that so many people I knew had seen it, and I just could not stop thinking about it all. 

Anyone who thinks that being a target of online harassment is “just words” and that you will “just get over it” and “stop worrying about it” has never been on the receiving end of online harassment. 

Humans are, for the most part, not viciously cruel to each other on a day-to-day basis. 

If you saw grown men terrorizing a 6-year-old in real life, you would step in and stop it? It would be so out of the ordinary. 

But, for some reason, we have come to accept it online. 

And the shock of my first experience led me to do something strange: I got onto Twitter and messaged RAYGUN, the company that made the shirt Kamdyn was wearing. 

For those not in the Midwest, RAYGUN is a chain of about a dozen retail locations that calls itself “The Greatest Store in the Universe.” 

They design and print their own products, and often work with local athletes, thus their partnership with Audi Crooks and the “Smile Like Audi” shirt. 

They are very online, very active in the community, and I wasn’t sure what would happen when I reached out, but thought that, at the very least, they would like to see the controversy they were connected to. 

I told them about the photo and that trolls “blew it up” and “were making fun of my daughter’s weight and looks.” I said, “I’m a big fan of RAYGUN and know you’re better at trolling and good causes. I wondered if you had any ideas on how we can troll them back or turn this around.” 

To my surprise, in about 30 minutes, I got a response from RAYGUN’s owner, Mike Draper, whose office is just down the road from me in Des Moines. 

He said that he would love to help and asked if he could give me a call. 

If you had told me 2 days before this that I would soon be pouring my feelings out to a T-shirt shop owner, I never would have believed you! 

KAMDYN

I started by telling Mike that Kamdyn had already been struggling a lot with being bullied in school for her size and weight. 

What’s more, she came home once and asked me if she was adopted because a classmate told her she must be “since she has two moms.” 

She asked me what adopted even meant, and after I explained it, she said, “I don’t get it, that’s not even a bad thing.” 

When Kamdyn was little, we had several foster youth in our home. She’s seen the other side of foster care and knows it can be a beautiful thing.

We later found out that child's mother has been vocal to other parents about not liking that Kamdyn has two Moms. I can only imagine what's been told to that child for her to taunt Kamdyn about being adopted.

Bullying for Kamdyn started in kindergarten when a little girl walked up to her while she was in line for lunch and pointed at her belly and told her she was fat. From then on, the comments have been consistently targeted at her. 

A boy in her class once kicked her and called her fat and other girls told her she can't play with them because “she's too big and can’t do the splits.” 

It’s addressed at school, and we do our best to support her, but the comments haven't stopped. 

Kamdyn used to love putting on her dance leotard and tights to dance like a “pretty princess” in dance class, but in the past few years, it’s been more and more tears and fighting to get her to wear it, so we stopped trying.

Her fears that someone will comment about her body while wearing her leotard fill her head and almost ruined her love for dance. 

If it wasn’t for our amazing dance studio and dance friends, I’m sure she would have stopped dancing altogether. 

And we’re part of an incredible community, a pillar of which is the incomparable, Audi Crooks.  

AUDI CROOKS

Shortly after the bullying we saw Audi again and I heard her tell Kamdyn, “They will get you down if you let them Kam, but we won’t let them, will we?”

This statement was so impactful for me to hear, especially from Audi. 

Audi is an incredible Iowa State athlete with an incredible story. She is one of the best athletes in the country and on her way to set national scoring records: 

But she is also a target of online trolling that goes beyond just fan rivalries. The intensity of it all has led to media coverage: 

It has led to introspection on Audi’s part: 

But through it all, it has led to her being an example of how to keep standing tall and progressing in the face of hostility. 

What she endures, and puts past her, as she succeeds at the highest levels of competition, is nothing short of incredible. 

As the bullying of Kamdyn gained local attention, Audi told people to leave Kamdyn alone. But Audi also said that she, as an athlete, could handle the comments. 

But why should she have to? Why would a young woman like Audi have to endure online abuse? Why do we expect athletes to say that they expect that abuse? As college students? 

Michelle Obama summarized this issue perfectly saying, "When people want to control women the first thing they do is go after our beauty. The way we look... It's the habit of the culture of the world to put women in their place by attacking their physical being."

RAYGUN’S “TROLL MITIGATION PROGRAM"

Just talking to Mike and getting some emotional support was handy, but then Mike said, “Listen, I’d love to help but want to make sure you’re cool with it. We can either leave it alone and forget about it, or we can take this on and put these dickheads in our ‘Troll Mitigation Program.’” 

I asked him what he thought. 

He explained that he had recently helped a good friend whose daughter had been assaulted by a coach. 

“When I talked to him,” Mike said, “I was like, ‘In my opinion, if you try and forget about it and move on, it will come back to haunt them later in life. If you stand up, you’ll be showing your daughter that fighting back is an option.’” 

Mike went on, “In this case, we’re not going to fix Twitter trolls, but I think you will give your daughter peace of mind knowing that she is part of a bigger community of support, bigger than her family. And that if she needs help, she can ask for it, and people are there to offer it. It doesn’t make the bullying stop, but it makes you feel less alone, it makes you feel supported, which can take the pressure off, if that makes sense.” 

Mike explained what RAYGUN would do, I agreed, and they got started:

On the Twitter feed, RAYGUN jumped in to offer each of the trolls $1,000. 

That’s right. 

Instead of bullying or threatening, RAYGUN offers to give them $1,000 if they come into the store to meet Mike and pick it up. 

I asked Mike if RAYGUN had ever done this in the past and he said, “Oh yeah, a bunch of times!” 

Had they ever actually had to give anyone $1,000?

“Ha! No way,” Mike said, “trolling is not only these guys’ main hobby, but they have a lot to lose in their personal lives. They would NEVER want their identity revealed or to face anyone in real life.”

Mike started by calling out Howard with a $1,000 check: 

In troll form, Howard started by saying that Mike was a “tampon” who was, “beyond retarded."

RAYGUN started @‘ing everyone in the group, offering them all $1,000 if they’d come into the store to collect it.

After a bit, Howard’s need to keep up tough appearances online got the better of him, and he said, “I just might stop by!"

Then he said he wanted his Tweet to get to 15 likes, then he’d stop by. Mike encouraged RAYGUN’s audience to boost his Tweet to 15 likes (one of his most popular Tweets of all time!) in just a few minutes. 

Howard then promised to call to “work out the kinks.” Mike told him not to squelch! 

Howard points out something about the RAYGUN staff: 

                                         

Howard then asked, “where’s the store located,” as if he doesn’t have the internet: 

Mike told him they could all stop by and get paid. Made sure they had the address:

At this point, Howard acknowledges the obvious, that the “negative publicity is a bit of a deterrent.” 

No kidding! Who would want to be publicly connected to bullying a 6-year-old?!

Then Howard finds his way out of meeting Mike in person: 

But around the same time, another comment pops up, saying that “Next Tuesday night” people should go to Howard’s “class at Tippie College of Business” at the University of Iowa. 

Mike says that he doesn’t want this person publicly outed on Twitter and isn’t looking to fight anyone, he just really wants to pay them: 

Howard is added to RAYGUN’s “Too Scared to Take Our Money Wall of Fame,” which Howard calls “gay.” 

Then RAYGUN announces that, unfortunately, Howard won’t be coming to pick up his money: 

Howard gets back to Trolling by calling mike “an absolute pussy.” 

Mike points out that the “absolute pussy” is offering Howard $1,000! 

It’s not a challenge to fight. It’s not an insult. Howard can be the total “Alpha Male” in this situation. He can walk into Mike’s store, call him an “absolute pussy” to his face and get paid for it!

Mike even offers to drive him the check! 

One by one, all of them promise to take the money, and don’t show up. 

Hawkeye Enjoyer even sets a time and notes how he’ll walk in to take RAYGUN’s money. 

But……… 

As an audience forms on Twitter to watch, I start to see some sort of positive momentum. Like there is a way to neutralize this kind of thing online. 

At least in this situation. 

By the end of the day, it had worked: RAYGUN would match every new comment with “tell us in person and we’ll pay you for it,” and the trolls finally moved on. 

Without a victim getting upset, there wasn’t much interest for the trolls anymore. And any comment would be met with the simple challenge for them to come and collect their money. 

I thanked Mike for his help, and he said he’d be happy to donate the $1,000 to anything that Kamdyn and Audi wanted. 

We talked for a bit, and I asked him if he thought this would teach the trolls a long-term lesson. 

“I doubt it,” Mike said, “this is a good way to keep them from shitting on us, but they’ll just keep shitting on other people. It’s really sad. It’s all they do. These kids need a new hobby. I just hope your daughter sees that people will stand up for her when she asks.”

I said that I hoped we could just move on, but Mike seemed skeptical. 

“This stuff stings way more than people realize,” he said. “I mean, I’ve been dealing with this since the inception of Twitter, and until you’ve been on the receiving end of things, you have no idea what it feels like. I still think about interactions online we had from years ago. We don’t get over it; we just practiced handling it. Unfortunately, your daughter may think about this for the rest of her life. I just hope she learns to handle it.”  

I REALIZED THIS TWITTER TROLL GROUP WAS PART OF A HIVE, WITH QUEEN BEES...

If I believed that being called out for bullying a 6-year-old would change these guys’ behavior, I was sorely mistaken. 

But I realized that these guys were just worker bees in this giant Trolling hive. They took direction, they acted predictably, and they couldn’t seem to stop, it was so much of their identity. 

What do I mean by “a giant Trolling hive”? Well just look at ESPN’s Pat McAfee amplifying a viral rumor about a student at Ole Miss student, Mary Kate Cornett:

McAfee is one of these trolls Queen Bees, even if he doesn't know he is. Being part of sports journalism, they look to him for information. When he re-posted and commented on the Mary Kate alleged rumors, Howard and his friends all followed suit with Mary Kate comments but took it a step farther.

McAfee may not even realize the extent of his control over this Twitter hive. But as soon as they have any sort of green light, they all start moving in tandem. 

Howard even screen-shotted himself direct messaging Mary Kate: 

A few weeks after bullying a 6-year-old indirectly, and he was now DIRECTLY harassing a girl he didn’t even know, because of a false rumor amplified by a sports commentator?

But “Mary Kate” content became regular fixtures in their feeds: 

In the weeks following, Mary Kate was the main topic. It was a story that all kept referencing. 

And national storylines like Mary Kate are how Twitter trolls start developing their own communities and their own language with inside jokes, references, etc. 

Unlike most of our trolls, Pat did end up apologizing to Mary Kate, her family and publicly, but it took about 6 months, and the damage was already done. While it wasn't necessarily Pat saying the rumor that led to what Mary Kate states as "ruining her life," it was the hive of trolls that took what Pat said and made it worse. Because unlike Pat, they don't use their own photo or name and hold zero responsibility and accountability for their actions. 

In terms of national throughlines, Trump is obviously a metronome for them. Almost every topic that Trump mentioned, this hive would cling to, like immigration:

No matter the situation, dehumanizing seems to come naturally to them:

Trans issues trigger them: 

Gay issues: 

Misogyny: 

Of course, casual racism is pervasive: 

And the ease at which they threaten is surprising to anyone not used to this world: 

WHEN THEY JOKED ABOUT SEXUAL ACTS WITH A CHILD, I WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANY LINE THEY WOULDN’T CROSS...

In Twitter language, the emoji of a log is a stand in for “wood,” which is slang for wanting to have sex with someone. 

The trolls would regularly post it beneath photos of girls they found attractive. 

They also found ways to use it cruelly, like when Howard joked about a Park Ranger losing her job in the early months of the Trump Administration’s firings: 

But then I saw something that I couldn’t get past, and it came several weeks after they bullied Kamdyn. 

The University of Iowa, supposedly a school they supported, post a promotional photo of a young girl in front of a Caitlin Clark banner: 

Howard saw it and Tweeted at the University to fix a piece of equipment in the gym: 

Howard’s friend Tony saw it and left this comment: 

Commenting that you would have sex with a girl who appeared to be about 7 years old was too much even for some in the Troll community. 

Another user replied that “We gotta start shooting people like [Tony].” 

Tony was so pleased with himself at eliciting this reply that he even re-posted that comment: 

As you work your way up through the hive, comments that horrify even other hive members are a badge of honor. 

BUT THE LINE BETWEEN DIGITAL LIFE AND REAL LIFE STARTED TO BLUR WHEN THEY SECRETLY POSTED PHOTOS OF PEOPLE IN THEIR COMMUNITY... 

People will try to downplay Twitter trolls with two trains of thought: 

• One: that they are just “bots” or “burner accounts” or “some kid in New Jersey somewhere just commenting.” 
• Two: they are just online and wouldn’t do anything in real life. 

Neither of these things made me feel better. 

Firstly, from their comments and posts, I not only knew that they were real people, but I knew they were in my community. They were clearly living in Iowa City which is only two hours from my house, and they may have grown up or lived even closer. 

Second, many of their posts started to blur the line between digital and real. 

They would take photos of real people without their consent, and post comments about them, like this picture Howard took during his class:

Or this of a professor wearing a mask: 

Commenting about someone walking down the street: 

Commenting about someone in class: 

Or this one of staff at Walmart: 

And then this post really caught my attention: 

“No one here knows I have 150 followers on my burner.” 

There seemed to be satisfaction in being able to see people without being seen. Of posting about people without their knowledge. 

This type of stuff moved beyond just “comments online,” and into something more menacing. 

It was hard for me to go to sporting events and not think, “Are they here right now? Are they watching me? Are they watching Kamdyn?" Were we targeted for different reasons? Everything they appeared to target is myself and my family, so was this now on purpose? Same-sex marriage, minorities (my wife and Latina), women (especially female athletes), and individuals with special needs (my brother has Down Syndrome).

Everything began feeling so personal and so threatening.

 

AND THEN: BILLY BAKER FROM THE BOSTON GLOBE WALKS INTO RAYGUN, SAYS HE FOUND HOWARD IN IOWA CITY

One Friday, a couple months after the trolls bullied Kamdyn, a older guy and a cameraman walked into RAYGUN’s main store in Des Moines and put a piece of paper down onto the counter and told the staff: “I’m the guy in this picture and I’m here to collect my $1,000”:

Mike was out of town, but the staff called to tell him that “apparently the Twitter troll is here to collect his $1,000?”

More RAYGUN staff became involved in the discussion, which was all being filmed, and a RAYGUN staffer tried to clarify, “You are a college kid in Iowa City who bullied a little girl online?”

And at this point the guy said, “No, but that’s my photo.” 

He went onto explain that he was a journalist from Boston named, Billy Baker who wrote a book called “We Need to Hang Out.” The headshot that appeared on the back of that book was the photo that Howard had lifted from the internet to use as his Twitter profile. 

Billy didn’t really have much of an online presence. He told us that his day job was doing local interest stories for The Boston Globe. 

But when RAYGUN’s interactions with the troll blew up online, someone contacted Billy via email to let him know that Howard was using his photo as a Twitter profile to bully kids. 

Billy decided that he would find Howard’s identity, fly to Iowa with a cameraman, and confront Howard about. 

And he did! 

Billy told the RAYGUN staff that he was able to find out where Howard went to class, where he went to the gym, and even where he lived. Billy stood in the gym while Howard walked past, he went to Howard’s class, and Howard finally recognized him as the guy from his Twitter profile photo and ran home to hide. 

Billy told RAYGUN that after talking to Howard’s friends, Howard agreed to talk to Billy on camera. 

Howard explained to Billy that when he was looking for a photo for his Twitter profile, he just googled “basic white guy” and Billy’s photo popped up. 

Billy told RAYGUN that Howard was “scared shitless” and that Billy was going to put the experience together into a video that he’d release later. 

One of the RAYGUN managers paid Billy $1,000. 

Billy gave RAYGUN a Gmail address and everyone said they’d be in touch. 

RAYGUN staff gave the Gmail address to Mike, Mike emailed Billy. Billy responded that “the whole thing is just too strange to be true” and that getting the money was “such a nice ending.” 

Billy said that he “filmed everything, and if I can do my job right, we have an epic story to tell.” 

The RAYGUN staff were anxious to see the final product that outed the Twitter troll. 

Instead, just after Billy’s visit, the trolls popped back up, with Tony messaging RAYGUN: 

And then Tony followed that by letting RAYGUN know that they knew that Billy had been paid the $1,000, and implied that Billy had then given that money to the trolls: 

 Had the Twitter trolls sent someone to pretend to be a journalist to collect the money?

HAD RAYGUN GOTTEN TRICKED INTO PAYING THESE TROLLS $1,000? 

No, Billy Baker wasn’t a pretend journalist, he is a real journalist from Boston. And the trolls were surprised when he showed up to find them. 

I know this, because they weren’t at all worried about a journalist being able to find them in real life, instead got back on Twitter to explain the whole story in 3 Notes App posts: 

My blood boiled when I read that Billy “and many others in the state of Massachusetts found Howard and the other burners associated hilarious and kept up with us for months.” 

This journalist was a fan of this?

The second notes app page explains Billy finding Howard in Iowa City. 

And, finally, Billy makes contact with Howard and explains that he “comes in peace” and, according to the trolls, “believes what we do is hilarious.” 

Billy met up with Howard at his house and, as Billy explained to RAYGUN, they talk on camera. 

Afterwards, they head out to the bars, where Howard and “Cody” post for a photo with Billy — though Howard covers his real face with his profile picture — which is Billy. 

They were very proud of themselves: 

Other Trolls loved it: 

Cody even bought Billy’s book, “We Gotta Hang Out.” 

Though Billy had explained to RAYGUN that Howard and his friends were “scared shitless,” now RAYGUN wondered what kind of video Billy was making. 

Was this going to be the story of some journalist finding a “hilarious” troll online that a mean-old-t-shirt company tried to “cancel”? 

RAYGUN staff had all been filmed by Billy and his friend and would now appear in whatever Billy was making whether they liked it or not. 

The Troll's certainly thought Billy was on their side. Jacob even joined Bluesky to threaten Mike directly: 

He then posted this threat to his followers on Twitter, noting that he was “taking his hate to new levels,” with a snapshot of his new Bluesky account that read “I’m just here to piss off Mike.”  

ONE VERY ANGRY T-SHIRT SHOP OWNER 

I talked to Mike from RAYGUN right after the summary of events came out, and he was absolutely enraged. Where he had been someone I could talk to before, and suddenly, I felt like his therapist!  

After reading the Trolls’ summary, Mike worried that what began as Kamdyn being bullied online would end up as some sort of Gen Z + Gen X buddy film — a “boys will be boys” whitewashing. 

He worried how RAYGUN would be portrayed, how I’d be portrayed, and how the Trolls would be the stars. 

Mike had already emailed Billy and heard back from him with his explanation of the trip. 

Now, Mike emailed Billy a link to the Trolls’ summary and suggested “maybe there’s more to it.” 

Billy didn’t reply, and after about 3 days, Mike followed up: 

This email didn’t get a reply, but after Mike sent it, the Trolls started deleting their posts about the event. Tony even deleted his Bluesky account. 

So, Mike knew that Billy was talking to the trolls, asking them to take down their posts targeting him. 

At this point, Mike emailed the editor of The Boston Globe asking her to please ping Billy to let him know to call. Mike also emphasized this in another email to Billy: 

Mike and Billy talked on the phone in what Mike described to me as, "probably the single strangest call I've ever had.” 

Billy started not apologetically for a mistake, but by haranguing Mike about “trying to get him fired” by contacting The Boston Globe. 

When Mike told him that he didn’t want footage of RAYGUN used in his video, Billy told him that he could because “no one in RAYGUN told him to stop filming.” 

Mike said, “You get to use it because we didn’t tell you to stop, what kind of date rape shit is that?!” 

Billy also said that he thought RAYGUN was a bully in this situation. RAYGUN had inserted themselves into the story to make it all about them. RAYGUN had gone after these kids. 

These were just jokes. 

These were just kids. 

When Mike brought up the bullying of Kamdyn, Howard said that he had seen that, and he told them that they “shouldn’t make fat jokes” because they are “boring.” 

When Mike brought up the far crueler Tweets like telling people to kill themselves, threatening sexual acts on young girls. Billy said he “didn’t know anything about that.” 

When Mike asked about me and Kamdyn, Billy said that he was planning on finding our information and having Howard call us to apologize, probably to record and use in the film?

I find it odd that Billy would have to spend much time trying to find me considering my real name is on my Twitter account and he could have just Googled me and gotten my side of things before flying all the way to Iowa. I mean he found trolls with less information. 

After the call, Mike said he couldn’t believe that Billy hadn’t been worried about some of the darkest Tweets in Howard’s history. 

So he decided to email his file of Howard’s Tweets to Billy and explain that “We’ll see how your doc comes out, and if we think we’ll need to tell our side of things with more info about you or these kids, we will.” 

The file included: 

Or:

Or:

And in case you thought these were just all “jokes:”

After this email, Billy called Mike and was legitimately surprised by the messages. 

He asked Mike where they came from because he hadn’t seen any of them when he looked at Howard’s Tweets. 

Mike told him that almost all of these messages aren’t found in the “Posts” tab but in the “Replies."

Billy explained that he wasn’t really on Twitter and wasn’t familiar with all the facets of it. 

He was legitimately embarrassed about this and apologized. 

He seemed to realize that he couldn’t be associated with this group. His video would be shelved. 

Billy told Mike that he thought Howard really was sorry for what had happened. Howard told Billy that his parents had found out about his Twitter account and since then, he really hadn’t been active on Twitter as much. 

Billy told Mike that the Trolls would leave me and RAYGUN alone. 

Billy asked Mike if there was anything he could do to help put this all behind them and Mike said, “An apology from Howard.” 

 

“HEY MIKE, THIS IS, I GUESS, HOWARD STEVENS.” 

After Mike sent his file to Billy, Billy talked to the trolls again and they switched their accounts to private: 

After about Strike 7, these guys still didn’t delete their accounts, just switched them so that no one could see the Tweets. 

Billy told Howard to call Mike. 

One night, Howard called Mike from a blocked number. It went to voicemail: 

“Hey Mike, this is, I guess, Howard Stevens. I just talked to Billy or whatever. He told me you would be willing to call me back. I’m at work. You can call me back late tonight or pretty much anytime tomorrow. But yeah, I kind wanna talk and own up to, I guess, like, my, like Twitter account or whatever. And see if there’s anything me or anybody else can hopefully do to reduce the situation. I guess, as you probably know, that we all, like, all deactivated our accounts. So, yeah, I guess. Just call me back probably tomorrow. I’ll probably call you again tomorrow since I blocked my number.” 

The next day, Howard didn’t call back. 

Or the next day. 

Mike reached out to Billy again to try and coordinate a call for an apology, Billy texted back “I’m no longer getting involved in this. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.” 

After that, the Trolls finally deleted all their accounts: 

No apology. 

No explanation. 

No real accountability. 

Like always, everyone apparently just wanted to “move on.” 

HOW WE FOUND HOWARD’S IDENTITY

But I really couldn’t just “move on.” I knew these kids lived in my community. 

I recalled a someone mentioning that they thought Howard was “from Indianola." A town about 45 minutes from Ames. 

And I thought, “If a reporter who doesn’t know how Twitter works can find out who this kid is, surely anyone can!” Several of us had been taking screen shots to save their posts and content for months now, so we had more than enough material to work with.

We love nothing more than a good internet investigation deep dive. So, we got to work. 

From his photo with Billy, we knew that Howard was tall (about 6’3” maybe): 

We knew he was a student at Iowa, but also a sophomore on the Dean’s List, studying finance: 

An earlier Tweet mentioned that he had a Tuesday night class: 

We knew he played basketball, had a job at the Rec Center, and we thought we knew what his house might look like from his own posts:

 

Using some identifiers in the photos (one of which I covered up. You’re welcome) we were able to determine the unique street and locate the two houses across the street using google maps.

We found the names of 3 occupants of that house and then started cross-referencing with public social media accounts and public documents. 

One of the residents on the list ticked all the boxes:

• From Indianola
• Studied Finance
• Was on the Dean’s List
• Worked at the Rec Center
• Played basketball
• Was tall

I put the name into Google and hit search. I found a LinkedIn profile with the information deleted: 

And then, a picture: 

SO, THIS IS YOUR TWITTER TROLL’S LIFE...

That’s him. Charlie Willmott Jr. 

In the back of your mind, you always kind of know that is what a menacing Twitter troll is going to look like. 

But in the moment, when you’re being bullied, you can’t help imagining the Troll as a more menacing figure: aggressive, scary, threatening.  

That’s the facade the trolls want, because when you see them in real life, you see what Billy saw: just some average college student. 

And that is what is so hard for me to understand, because this “kid” in real life: 

Is this “man” on the internet: 

A nondescript college kid who hangs out with friends: 

Goes on to threaten people online: 

I just cannot imagine that, in real life, this young Finance Major: 

Would say something like this to my daughter’s face: 

Indeed, according to LinkedIn, the same month that Charlie was bullying my daughter, he was finishing up a job at as a “Childcare Worker” where he “supervised children, encouraged a safe and caring environment:” 

But he gloated online about bullying a kid?

It is like these are two totally different people! 

How could you work at a daycare in real life and then bully kids online? 

How do you study in college to prepare for the professional world, and then threaten other adults who work in that world? 

They can do it because they have built a whole different persona online.

SO… WHY DO THEY DO IT?

If you are a kid with your whole life ahead of you, why choose a hobby that is so vile and destructive? 

Why choose a hobby that you have to keep secret from everyone except the others who participate?

And I try to remember that these kids grew up online. This isn’t a surprise to them. They have seen people get “cancelled,” they have seen videos of online identities being revealed, they know that their statements and movements and photos are saved for all time. 

Yet they continue to leave the evidence of their cruel hobby out in the public! 

This isn’t done in secret; it’s right out in the open. 

You cover the internet in evidence of thoughts and actions that you would never want to see the light of day?

Peeing all over bathrooms (allegedly), threatening children, harassing women you don’t know, photographing and commenting on professors and strangers?

• After bullying a 6-year-old and getting called out for it, you don’t stop. 
• After your parents find your Twitter account, you don’t stop. 
• After a reporter tracks you down and films you, you don’t stop. 
• Even after that reporter tells you to take down your account, you just make it private, preserving all of your Tweets. 

This hobby is so important to them. 

The “high water mark” of their Trolling seemed to be when they thought Billy was a fan of theirs: 

Billy’s visit seemed to give them some sort of validation that they were funny. That their hobby was, in a way, respected?

This validation is what made them want to troll RAYGUN harder after Billy’s visit: they seemed to think that they had some sort of celebrity to stand on. 

But then, when Billy told them that we were mad enough to find out who they were, they finally deleted their accounts. 

A FINAL CHANCE: APOLOGY WEEK.

I talked to Mike about Charlie’s identity and what I should do. 

Should I just out him publicly on the internet and let the internet decide?

Even after all he had done and said, there was something holding me back from that. 

Do I even offer him the chance to apologize? 

Would that just be letting him off the hook, again, after so many chances. 

Mike had a suggestion: 

• Make the Trolls turn their Twitter accounts back on; 
• Have them go through and apologize to everyone they had insulted; 
• Leave those accounts up for others to see and hopefully be a small warning to others in their trolling community; 
• The Trolls would do a recorded interview with Mike over the phone.

My only request: 

• The Trolls would sit down with me, my wife, and Kamdyn to apologize in person.

And finally: 

• The Trolls would each make a video of themselves cleaning the toilet.

On that last one, Mike joked, “We should make them clean a pee covered toilet with a Swiffer.” 

For Mike's requests, he'd let Charlie remain anonymous. 

I was still torn by that last fact, so we asked for no such promise or agreement. I did think that apologizing so publicly could be educational for others and hopefully pull several other trolls offline. I didn't need any sort of agreement, I only wanted an apology, if he wanted to give us one.

Mike reached out to Charlie with his requests and let him know that I was calling him to arrange my request, and after several attempts, Charlie finally replied. 

They interacted over email with Mike's requests and he later forwarded them to me. 

Mike discussed the power of apologies with Charlie: 

But he also told Charlie that he was only 21 when he started RAYGUN. Just a year older than Charlie. He pointed out that Audi is actually younger than Charlie. 

And he encouraged him to put this all behind him and join the community: 

Charlie was in agreement: 

 

Mike emphasized that before he could just “move on,” Charlie would need to meet the requirements laid out. Mike even sent Charlie some of the questions he wanted to ask. This wasn’t meant to be some sort of trap, but questions that so many people have thought. 

Mike told me, “I will start off a little jokey, I think I’ll say, ‘Howard, on Twitter you said I look like an “absolute pussy,” how do i sound?!’”  

But the questions were straight forward: 

Charlie agreed to Mike's terms: 

And, at first, the Trolls started apologizing. They each pinned an apology to the tops of their accounts: 

They started posting apologies to people they had bullied: 

They even posted photos of cleaning toilets: 

I spoke to Charlie on the phone and we scheduled a time and place for his apology. He said that he and his friends involved (Tony and Randall) would all drive over. 

He was apologetic on the phone. Sincerely, it seemed. A productive and sincere meeting is all my family wanted.

Seeing their apology Tweets made me feel good about our meeting. I felt like they would really learn something and myself, my wife, and Kamdyn would get some closure... maybe even answers.

TROLLS TURN ON TROLLS.

But as the week continued, other Trolls started bullying Howard and his friends. 

After the toilet cleaning video, one commented that it was “worse than 9/11.” 

Another said that “I’d rather kill myself than do what Howard Stevens CPA is doing RN:” 

Others thought that it must be a joke: 

Or, worse, Howard was being censored by the woke mob: 

By the end of the day on Thursday, after only 1 day of bullying from other Trolls, Howard and his friends again deleted their accounts: 

Early the next morning, a criminal defense attorney in Des Moines sent Mike a letter. 

MIKE GETS A LETTER FROM AN ATTORNEY

The weekend before the meeting, Mike forwarded me a letter from a criminal defense attorney in Des Moines accusing him of “extortion” for making Charlie apologize for personal gain. 

It suggested that Mike retain legal counsel and to never contact Charlie again. 

Mike apologized to me. “I offered this dude a path forward as a man. Just me and him. And this is how he responds.” 

I told Mike that I thought it would be something like this. I didn’t think Charlie would actually own up to it all. I figured he’d go to his parents who would work to bail him out. 

And it worked, to an extent: Charlie wouldn’t have to talk to Mike. 

All that was left was his apology to me, which was still scheduled.

 

THE MEETING

After Mike’s letter, I didn’t hear from Charlie about changing the meeting. I got a voicemail from Angela Campbell telling me to call her, but with no information about what we’d talk about. 

I decided to just go through with it: to show up and see if Charlie and his friends would be there. 

I’d scheduled it for 11AM on a Sunday, at a coffee shop near my house. A place that I felt safe.

Looking back, I didn't even think about the coffee shop being close to the RAYGUN store. Maybe three doors down, just sitting there taunting them! It's funny now and I wonder what they were thinking when seeing it right there, in their face! Charlie was possibly worried about Mike joining us. Although, I specifically told him I wasn't going to do that, nor trap him, or call the Police. I just wanted to meet and have him look Kamdyn in the eyes and apologize, if he wanted to.

Before ever even agreeing to this meeting, I had asked Kamdyn if she still wanted to meet with the Trolls. She not only wanted to meet them, she also had questions prepared. She said, "they can apologize to my face." Her wanting to face them in person gave me the strength to show up!

After talking to Charlie on the phone, I was feeling fairly good about the meeting. He seemed apologetic. I thought he’d learn something from the meeting, and Kamdyn would get some closure. I was hoping he'd tell me something that would make it all make sense.

During the call, Charlie even took the time to ask what Kamdyn knew specifically and if there was something he shouldn’t share for fear of upsetting her. I remember telling my wife, this doesn't sound like the troll online, he seems like a sweet and caring kid. I really appreciated this as Kamdyn hasn't seen more than those two comments and only understands it as some adults made fun of her and Audi.

The morning of the meeting, I took a picture of Kamdyn on her way to the coffee shop. A little girl with her pink teddy bear, the bear’s tiny beach bag, and a treasure box of Kinetic Sand. All items she selected to bring to make her feel safe.

I talked to Kamdyn and told her that it was possible Charlie, and his friends wouldn’t show up. Kamdyn said she was ready. 

We went in. 

My wife stayed home to be with our 1-year-old twins and now 4-year-old. 

Inside, I immediately recognized Charlie. But he sat with 3 adults. A man and two women that were not Charlie’s college buddies. 

The woman got up and approached me, introducing herself as their attorney, Angela Campbell. The other two adults were Charlie’s parents, who had driven up from Indianola. 

At this point, I froze and just said, “No.” I wasn’t sure why a criminal defense attorney was involved in this matter and if she was here to threaten me with extortion or orchestrate an apology. I had nothing to do with Mike's requests. I believe I mentioned several times, "I don't have an attorney..." It's all really fuzzy because of all the possible outcomes, this was not one I was prepared for.

She told me that she tried to call me to offer a different location for the meeting and other things. I said that I didn’t want to talk to her because I didn’t have an attorney, I just wanted an apology from Charlie. 

I told her that I didn’t want Kamdyn and I to sit with all of them, and she agreed that she and the parents would leave the table, but she told me that I couldn’t record anything. This was never my plan. I wanted to have a true conversation.

The coffee shop was small, and the parents and the attorney had to pass Kamdyn and I. Charlie’s mother tried to say something to me, I remember the sadness in her eyes as she passed. That hit me as a mom, as I too was carrying a different sadness, but also fear. I didn't speak to her as I wasn’t there to talk to her. I was there for an apology from the young man who bullied my daughter, the young man who is also an adult. I was only there because my child was a minor and he also said awful things about me as a parent.

When I sat down, the attorney and parents watched us from a distance and all I wanted to do was call my wife. I recall looking at my heart rate on my watch skyrocket! 

I told Charlie that I was going to call my wife, not record anything. I was suddenly paranoid that if they thought I was recording the conversation, there would be legal repercussions against me. I was too nervous to use the notes on my phone where I had written all the things I wanted to cover.

I called my wife, and she came to the coffee shop. 

KAMDYN AND CHARLIE

Charlie asked if he could apologize to Kamdyn and I agreed. 

I cannot express how proud I was of Kamdyn. While I was so flustered, she was calm and listened to Charlie. Then she explained how hurt she was. While she was talking, I reached over to hold her hand, and she squeezed back to let me know she was okay. 

Kamdyn said to Charlie, “If no one forced you to do it, then why would you do it?” 

He attempted his apology, but everything he said was what was already written online. He created the page in high school, he didn't think about how it would impact others, and he regrets what he said. The moment was already taken as attorney's were involved for no reason and this was no longer felt genuine.

Priscilla came in as quickly as she possibly could and immediately ended the conversation as this is not what we planned for, and I wouldn't be able to ask what I needed, nor did it feel genuine anymore.

I left, scared and even more hurt. 

Charlie went to where his parents and attorney were sitting and watching our interaction. Priscilla heard Charlie tell them, “They’re pissed because you’re here.” 

We later had a letter sent to them asking that they do to not contact us. The meeting was traumatizing and we felt scared they'd take legal action on us. Obviously, we did nothing wrong but it all felt like a huge trap.

In response to our letter seizing communication we received a letter from Angela on behalf of Charlie and his family. It stated she wanted to cancel the apology meeting, but they felt it was rude to not show since I didn't call her back. It felt like the blame was on me for not calling her back. She stated she was making decisions for the family and also did not allow the others to come with Charlie as Charlie couldn't control what they'd say or do. Again, why does this matter? It was supposed to be an apology not a criminal investigation.

The letter from Angela also stated, "He specifically wanted to apologize for the comment he made about her parenting. He told me how that comment was extremely rude and out of line. After seeing Ms. Rebollozo in person and how much she clearly cares about her daughter, he has all the faith in the world that she is a great parent." 

What's crazy to me is why he thinks he gets to evaluate or judge my parenting? Especially off a photo of my daughter with a basketball star. In what world does his opinion of my parenting matter? He's not even a parent, it wasn't an article about parenting, no one asked for his thoughts on me as a parent. Of course I care about my child, this is why you’re sitting in your most rivaled town, a crossed the table from a 6-year-old, attempting an apology for fat shamming her for the world to see. 

ACCOUNTABILITY

I wasn’t pissed just because Charlie’s parents had shown up with an attorney. I was pissed that the opportunity to close the loop was taken from me and Kamdyn. He had done these things on his own, as a grown man. He could face the consequences as a grown man as well.

I had wanted to show Kamdyn that I would stand up for her, find those who had bullied her, and have them look her in the face and apologize to put a human face and real person behind their trolling.

I wanted Kamdyn to see that not only would a community rally to her defense, but that even bullies can recognize the depravity of their actions and own up to what they’ve done. 

Instead, Kamdyn seemed to learn a more frustrating lesson: some people will never fully own up to what they’ve done, and those around them will let them off the hook.

I've made Kamdyn apologize to a friend as she cried on the playground after school telling me she had called him "fat" since others do it to her. She felt awful, embarrassed and so did I. I called the friend and his mother over and she apologized and took accountability. Face to face, as a 6-year-old!

I know the difficulty of parenting, and I will not pass judgement (unlike Charlie). However, I heard that Charlie’s parents knew about his Twitter account and didn’t make him delete it. It just doesn’t add up to me why not act then, if you wanted to be involved?

How could you let Charlie leave that up?

How could you not have done something drastic when you found out?

Maybe, like Billy, they didn’t read all the messages?

Maybe, like so much of society, they thought it was “just boys being boys”?

It’s just “locker room talk.” 

It’s just “blowing off steam.” 

And “they don’t really mean it.” 

A letter from their Attorney stated, The parents wanted him to go through with the apology, so he could see first hand the pain he caused. They believed his behavior was unacceptable and warranted their involvement, but yet they waited to join the meeting that I had to set up. They're also not responsible for his adult actions, but I’m happy to hear they want to support him in being a better person. 

But this cannot be a healthy activity for our kids. How can they spend so much time as a totally different person. Won’t that bleed into their “real” life at some point?

For months after that meeting, this has rattled around in my mind. Was I handling this the right way? Should I be doing something different? 

YOUNG REPUBLICAN TROLLING GROUP

Then, this fall, I realized all these feelings were still bubbling under the surface when I read the leaked chats of a group of Young Republicans around the country. 

The violence, the racism, the misogyny, it’s all just so pervasive and so expected. 

And the defense of these messages is also so expected: 

The leaders of our country couldn’t seem to care less about things like this. It's actually not even shocking when you see it anymore. It's almost predictable. It's no longer about being Democrat or Republican. It's so much more.

I CANNOT CHANGE THE COUNTRY, I CAN ONLY HELP MY COMMUNITY

When Billy told Mike to just forget about finding out who Charlie was, he said there was no point because Mike wasn’t going to fix the internet. 

There is no way one person can stop online trolls. 

And that is why we let ourselves off the hook: the problem is so pervasive, so huge, that it seems like standing up against it is fruitless. 

But in the months since, Audi has still been mercilessly trolled, Kamdyn shows flashes of aggression and explains it with “if people are mean to me, I can be mean to them,” and this whole thing has not left my thoughts. My now 4-year-old son brings up this incident often asking, “Mommy, why are those bad guys mean to Kamdyn?” He doesn't even know what was said, but understands her feelings were hurt!

We’re all still traumatized!

Our favorite rivalry game vs. the Hawkeyes was one of the most uncomfortable and anxious days of my life. My head was on a swivel wondering if any of them were around us.

The amount of trolling online is increasing, especially towards women athletes. The hateful comments are often about their appearance and body and less about their game. They happen online and in person!

We recently went to the Oklahoma State University vs. Iowa State Women's Basketball game, and we had to move sections as the OSU students were saying awful things about Audi in person referencing her size and physical abilities. Resulting in our 4-year-old yelling back at them saying, "No, Her's not! Her's a nice person!" He cannot understand why someone would say such mean things about someone he loves and respects so much.

I wonder if Charlie thinks the same thing. I wonder if this is just below the surface, or has he forgotten about it all and moved on?

His LinkedIn profile is back up. He finished his summer internship. He is halfway through junior year. 

But I’d like to think that this still follows him. 

And I want him to know the power he has to help his community by truly owning up to what he did. 

I write this blog not to see him expelled from Iowa or cancelled. That’s the exact opposite, so don’t message him or his family!  Heck, in modern America, being cruel is big business, so I’m not even sure what “cancelled” means! 

I write this blog to show kids, parents, and everyone around us that this destructive force we have accepted doesn’t have to be a part of their lives. 

We need to do better as a society. Especially for young men. We need to hold each other accountable; we need to create a space where we can take responsibility and truly own up to our shortcomings instead of hiding behind lawyers and covering up the destruction. 

We need to be kind! 

Trolls need to understand they can be found and tracked, even if you think you're anonymous.

We need to teach more respect, especially to women! 

While I’m not asking Charlie for anything, I hope to see Charlie set an example of how to change. I would love to see him help educate others and make a stand against online trolling. I truly hope he's done better and his trolling friends have too. I know this is what his parents also want. 

However, this is our story to tell and through this entire situation we've felt nothing but silenced. 

Kamdyn has recently become obsessed with learning about Martin Luther King Jr. and as we celebrated his birthday, we reviewed many of our favorite quotes from him. So, I've decided now is the time to do what's right and what's right is to speak up and tell our truth.

So many people have been hurt by these trolls and for what gain? It’s been a year and my family is still greatly impacted! 

It’s never too late to change.

It’s never too late to be accountable.

It’s never too late to speak up!

Acknowledgements:

To Mike and all of RAYGUN, Thank you! I cannot express how much it's meant to my family for all that you've done. Although I still haven't met Mike in person, we spoke often and shared so many personal things with each other. You took a business risk getting involved, spent too much personal time on this, and had nothing positive to gain. I'm sorry it ended the way that it did and that somehow it turned RAYGUN into the bad guy. That’s so far from the truth and another reason I felt compelled to write and publish this blog. We will forever be grateful for all you and your staff have done and for showing Kamdyn (and hopefully others struggling) that she can find support and community when she needs it, even in the most unusual places, like the Greatest Store in the Universe! 

To Audi, you will forever be a special person to us and it's not for your skills on the court. Your character and kindness stretch farther than your sick fadeaway or unstoppable moves in the paint. You continue to be the type of person I hope my children grow up to be like. You are truly an inspiration to all. 

And finally,

To Kamdyn, I know someday you'll read all the things that were said in this incident even though I hope you do not! You'll understand them and feel them at a deeper level than, "some mean guys said mean things online." I hope you know that your Moms fought for you the best way we knew how and tried our best to be your voice. I hope you always know how loved you are, how amazing you are, and how strong you are! You're never alone sweet girl! You never know when a T-shirt store will stick up for you or friends and family will wear "smile like Audi" shirts to work presentations and school to stand in solidarity with you. We hope you know that you can always "just let it go", but if you want to speak up, you can. We will be right there beside you, amplifying your voice. Don't let anyone define you, limit you, or silence you!